Specialties Talk

Easter Candy Conundrum

Same stuff, more expensive packaging.

At the behest of my kids, I swung down the Easter aisle at my neighborhood retail giant yesterday. Naturally, this was a mistake as I was soon assaulted with puppy dog eyes and syrupy sweet “please mommy” from the tykes. Could I blame them? They were surrounded by representations of spring in the form of sugary, chocolatey goodness. I allowed them to each pick out one thing and they both happily grabbed an egg-shaped Reese's Peanut Butter cup.

Now, I know about marketing and holiday price hikes. But I was a bit taken back when I glanced at the candy shelf in the checkout line. There was a king-size pack, containing four peanut butter cups, that cost half as much as the small egg grasped in my children's hands. I pointed it out to them, along with the price difference. My oldest tried to reason away the discrepancy, pointing out that the egg was larger than a standard cup. My youngest was taken as easily, and quickly offered to put back the egg in exchange for a four pack of candy. Eventually my eldest saw the logic and did the same.

We see the same thing at Valentine's when the candy companies place their same ol' chocolates into a heart shaped box and triple the price. It's also common at Christmas when the same ol' candy is made in red and green and sold for more. (As a side note, I noticed last year that Christmas M&M bags cost more and contained a couple ounces less than the standard bags).

As consumers, we are also to blame. We so easily give in to the allure of “special, available once a year, buy this and they will love you” marketing. But if you're just a bit savvy, you can beat them at their own game. Visit the store after the holiday, stock up on the special sweets at 75 percent off, and stick them in the freezer for next year.

Irish Specialties

Corned Beef and Cabbage

It's March, which means I have a party at my place planned for the 17^th. That's right, nary a year goes by without a few close friends over for a night of merry making. We go the typical traditional American route when comes to St. Patrick's day, and serve corned beef and cabbage as the main course before we all get our drink on.

Corned beef isn't a traditional Irish dish for the holiday, but it is a traditional Irish-American dish. It was likely more traditional in times past for the Irish to eat bacon and cabbage, since the Irish people didn't consume a lot of beef and much preferred pork. Corned beef became more common with the Irish immigrants due to its much lower cost in the US. It was brined in salt for a time, which preserved the beef.

Regardless, it's still a lovely tradition that we practice around this house. I make mine in the crockpot, because I am lazy on party days. Just toss in a corned beef brisket, some dry brown mustard, thyme and parsley and a bit of broth. Add chopped cabbage, carrots, onions and potatoes and you'll have a meal in about six hours.

If you want something a bit more traditional, get your hands on a thick cut rasher of bacon. Fry that up then cook the cabbage in the bacon grease. This sounds much more appetizing to me, but my family and friends would be disappointed if I didn't have their beloved corned beef ready.

Copycat Recipes

Making homemade versions of specialty recipes.

We all have our favorite restaurant dish comfort food. In some cases, these are real foods prepared fresh at quality establishments, but for me most of these foods are prepackaged from a mix specialty items from a fast food joint. What is it about chemical laden, fake meat products that make them taste so good?

One way I combat these cravings is by making my own healthier versions of restaurant specialties with fresh ingredients at home. A simple internet search of the food name and restaurant with the word “copycat” will turn up a treasure trove of recipes. Not all of these are good, though. It's important to read user reviews to make sure the copycat taste as good or better than the real thing.

Texture plays a big part of the menu item's appeal, too. For example, recreating beef tacos from your favorite establishment does involve ingredient and seasoning choices, but it may also require a very fine texture of ground beef that is hard to replicate with off-the shelf ground meat packs. Ask your butcher to grind it fine and cook it slowly, stirring often, to recreate the crumbly texture of the taco filling.

Here is one of my favorite copycat recipes for KFC coleslaw. The secret here is to dice up the cabbage very small in a food processor, otherwise it won't have the same creamy consistency.

Dice 8 cups of cabbage ¼ cup carrots very fine.

In a bowl, combine ½ cup buttermilk, ½ cup mayo, 2 tbsp. white vinegar. 2 tbsp. lemon juice and 1/3 cup sugar. Add salt and pepper to taste. Toss the cabbage and carrots in the dressing.

This tastes best if you make it the night before you plan to serve it so the vegetables can absorb the dressing. Almost like the real thing!

Ice Cream Without Ice

Homemade ice cream without the mess.

While perusing the thrift store one day, I came across a small ice cream maker new in the box. It was priced at a $1, so I decided to take a chance even though it looked like it was missing a few parts. When I got it home, I perused the instructions and was shocked to find it didn't require ice or salt.

These hand cranked all-inclusive ice cream makers were a hit in the early 90s, but for some reason their popularity waned. I'm guessing it's because they are smaller than the more common electric versions that need ice and rock salt. We love our thrifted one, though, and I've given a few new ones as gifts recently to rave reviews.

These machines work simply. They come with a thick-walled metal insert. You keep the insert in the freezer for at least 8 hours before you make ice cream. We just leave ours in the freezer all the time so it's always ready to go.

When you're ready to make ice cream, Mix up your cream, sugar and flavoring. Place the insert into the maker, add the paddle, then pour in the ice cream mix. Place the lid and crank in place and turn it a few times. Unlike the old hand-cranked models, you don't crank these constantly. You turn it a few times, leave it be for five minutes or so, then return and crank again. Repeat until the ice cream is thick and creamy. It takes about 15 minutes and four cranking sessions to make a quart of ice cream in our Donvier model.

Creamy Recipes Without the Junk

I'll be honest, I never by cream of chicken, mushroom, or anything soups. I find them salty and nasty, even the supposed low-sodium varieties. They resemble and taste like clop, I don't care if they are supposed to be “Mmm, Mmm, good.” For years I bypassed recipes that instructed to me to dowse an otherwise edible food in cream soup, since in my mind that would then make it just as inedible as the cream of garbage I was soaking it in.

That lasted until I got married. My husband is a true-blue casserole lover, and most casseroles call for cream soup. I want my mate to be happy, but how can I do that when just opening up a can of soup makes me ill?

I got around it by learning to make my own cream base. It's richer, non-gloppy, and contains minimal salt. I can make a little or a lot while seasoning it just right for my recipe. It only adds a few minutes onto the cooking time, and you can even make extra and freeze it for later.

Start with a cup of chicken, vegetable or beef broth. I use homemade broth or an unsalted store bought variety. Add any herbs or spices desired and bring it to a boil. Mix a half-cup milk with 3 tablespoons corn, potato or rice starch. Whisk it into the boiling broth and let it boil another minute, just until it begins to thicken up. You can even stir in some shredded cheese at this point if you want a cheese sauce.

You don't mix this cream soup with other liquids. If a recipe calls for a can of soup and a can of milk, increase the above recipe so you end up with 2 cups of homemade cream soup. If you want cream of celery or mushrooms, saute some in a small amount of butter and stir them into the soup. Healthier, tastier casseroles without dealing with the canned ick.

Twix Commercial Win

Sell Your Product By Selling Your Product

Twix has had some epic fails in the past. Remember those “Need a Moment?” commercials where some idiot—usually a sexist peeg who is cheating on his girlfriend or giggling over a book about how to pick up hot chicks while a woman looks on—“needs a moment” to collect himself before answering an embarrassing question? He eats a Twix and figures out just what to say, and it usually makes the woman asking the question look like even more of a moron for believing him. Yay, patriarch culture!

But the new Twix commercial that I saw the other day made me smile and nod because THIS is the way we should be selling products. There was an image of a Twix bar, followed by a description of it—cookie, caramel, chocolate. Of course, its imagery was perfectly decadent, with the caramel practically dripping from the candy. Still, it was so simple and delicious, and even after boycotting Twix I found myself craving one. It was close to this classic Twix commercial that I used to watch as a kid. When you first hear its music, you might think it, too, is rooted in the new Twix sexism; but the “Ohhh Yeaaah” murmuring isn’t about a woman (or a man); it’s about the candy bar itself, which is how it should be.

Companies should take a lesson from Twix: you don’t need sex, or celebrities, or lies to sell your product. You just need to show it to us, featuring what it’s all about—in this case, ooey gooey chocolate caramel cookies—and if it’s any good, it will sell. If it’s not, well, then you shouldn’t be selling it anyway, and you should go back to the whiteboard, friends. And we are talking about two long candy bars that resemble something that might be excreted from your body after enjoying a sack of sliders, so you know if it still sells, it has to be damn good.

Trix (and Mars in general), if you are going to stay with this honest route of advertising, I might be convinced to purchase your product again—but only if you commit to producing fair trade candy—perhaps earlier than the 2020 promise you’ve made to us? A lot of children and other slave laborers can die between now and then. Give us some certified fair trade chocolate with your certified fair, honest campaigns and I will gladly say, “Ohhh yeaahhhh.”